[ For a moment, he watches John. Just watches him as the gears whir and settle into place. How easy it would have been to have said that, weeks ago; but hindsight is twenty-twenty and anger speaks in shades of regret. When he's done watching, Harry nods - slow and deep, agreeing with John's assessment. Yes, that's exactly what he meant. Yes, he'd messed up by acting on anger and blind confusion, rather than trying to control his temper. John controlled himself so well, that Harry found himself acting as his polar opposite: uncontrollable, irascible, because maybe that was how he complimented the other.
Maybe. ] Yeah, that's what I meant.
[ Meant what I said, said what I meant - but, this elephant's not that good at faith, he thinks to himself. There's facts, laid out on the table, parroted and professed and bare. Things he knows are true, that he might be able to lean on, to think that they'll support him just enough to give in a little more. No alcohol this time, just raw decision-making skills, wary and rusted by the years.
What does he actually want though? Time granted him a small mercy in a few weeks of borrowed time, to think things over. To no avail or conclusion. Harry shifts where he sits, and lifts a hand - the ungloved one, wavering for a moment before he reaches out again, across the island, to press his fingertips softly to the place where there is a scar that aches during cold weather, where he'd acquainted himself not too long ago. He flattens the pads of his fingers there, and steels himself against what remains (cowardice) and nods softly.
Then he drops his hand and steals one of the blackberries, popping it into his mouth pointedly. He could play in circles, but he's tired too and there's really no fucking need to beat around the bush. Yeah, he's confused but that's not what's crowned here. He's known for fire and not backing down, so he chews up the blackberry, draws his mouth up into the most crooked, debonair smirk he can: ] I'm not going to get used or manipulated by you. I don't work for you. You're not going to file me away like you did back when we first met. I probably won't ever even agree with you or like what you do. You'll fear and respect and adore me the same way I will you, and you'll like it all the same.
Knowing that, if I said "I want you", where would that put us?
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timeasmymeasure
THIS THREAD EATS MY ATTENTION /claws at face
Date: 2012-11-13 05:28 am (UTC)Maybe. ] Yeah, that's what I meant.
[ Meant what I said, said what I meant - but, this elephant's not that good at faith, he thinks to himself. There's facts, laid out on the table, parroted and professed and bare. Things he knows are true, that he might be able to lean on, to think that they'll support him just enough to give in a little more. No alcohol this time, just raw decision-making skills, wary and rusted by the years.
What does he actually want though? Time granted him a small mercy in a few weeks of borrowed time, to think things over. To no avail or conclusion. Harry shifts where he sits, and lifts a hand - the ungloved one, wavering for a moment before he reaches out again, across the island, to press his fingertips softly to the place where there is a scar that aches during cold weather, where he'd acquainted himself not too long ago. He flattens the pads of his fingers there, and steels himself against what remains (cowardice) and nods softly.
Then he drops his hand and steals one of the blackberries, popping it into his mouth pointedly. He could play in circles, but he's tired too and there's really no fucking need to beat around the bush. Yeah, he's confused but that's not what's crowned here. He's known for fire and not backing down, so he chews up the blackberry, draws his mouth up into the most crooked, debonair smirk he can: ] I'm not going to get used or manipulated by you. I don't work for you. You're not going to file me away like you did back when we first met. I probably won't ever even agree with you or like what you do. You'll fear and respect and adore me the same way I will you, and you'll like it all the same.
Knowing that, if I said "I want you", where would that put us?