[ John realizes in a peripherally way that his level of obsession with Dresden is astounding. It's not as though he thinks of the wizard daily; often, his Dresden thoughts are relegated to whenever him shows up in Gard's supernatural news briefings and the bad nights when John has been up 72 hours and is just waiting for the Ambien to kick in. But when Harry deigns to blow back into John's life like a Vesuvian whirlwind, it hits him like a hammer to the temple or a bat to the kneecaps.
And tonight has been like an onslaught.
He is a romantic, as mortifying as it is to realize that. The idea that John would not be the one to kill Harry is only as absurd as the idea that Harry would not be the one to finally put John down. John has always assumed Harry was a romantic as well-- it would explain his naivete and his narrow morality-- and maybe he is, but not in the same way John is, clearly.
Later, John will blame this on the mead. He will send a missive to Donar Vadderung to expound on just how that fucking mead has ruined his life under the guise of thanking him for a gift. For now: ] I will kill you, or you will outlive me. Those are your only options, so get used to them, Dresden. [ To hell with rationality; the thought that they will someday not be doing this dance is a disgrace. ]
[ This is high on the list of things John gave up along with his name. And this man is high on the list of people who could ruin him. But at the moment, putting himself in such danger with this particular man is worth the risk. If Harry takes this knowledge and leverages it against him, John will find the secrets Harry has collected since their soulgaze and use them to dismantle the wizard's life.
He should let go of Dresden, send the man home, something to be rid of him. He definitely should not say, ] Surprise me, Mr. Dresden.
[ Anything to get Harry to move. Just looking at him bent like that makes John's bones ache in sympathy. ]
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timeasmymeasure
I have something in my eyes
Date: 2012-10-31 04:15 am (UTC)And tonight has been like an onslaught.
He is a romantic, as mortifying as it is to realize that. The idea that John would not be the one to kill Harry is only as absurd as the idea that Harry would not be the one to finally put John down. John has always assumed Harry was a romantic as well-- it would explain his naivete and his narrow morality-- and maybe he is, but not in the same way John is, clearly.
Later, John will blame this on the mead. He will send a missive to Donar Vadderung to expound on just how that fucking mead has ruined his life under the guise of thanking him for a gift. For now: ] I will kill you, or you will outlive me. Those are your only options, so get used to them, Dresden. [ To hell with rationality; the thought that they will someday not be doing this dance is a disgrace. ]
[ This is high on the list of things John gave up along with his name. And this man is high on the list of people who could ruin him. But at the moment, putting himself in such danger with this particular man is worth the risk. If Harry takes this knowledge and leverages it against him, John will find the secrets Harry has collected since their soulgaze and use them to dismantle the wizard's life.
He should let go of Dresden, send the man home, something to be rid of him. He definitely should not say, ] Surprise me, Mr. Dresden.
[ Anything to get Harry to move. Just looking at him bent like that makes John's bones ache in sympathy. ]